Dear Mel:
I've listened to some of those recordings between you and Oksana. I want to give you some free legal advice. Your finances must be tight now that your earning potential looks so bleak, and I feel for you. Lindsay Lohan's agents must view you as the second coming for taking away the bad attention from her! (This gives me an idea... maybe you should consider writing an autobiography and call it "The Passion of the Mel." Clever, eh? Self-deprecating humor works great when trying to recover from self-inflicted wounds.)
Now first of all, don't be put off by the "witz" at the end of my name. I know you once complained that the "fucking Jews . . . are responsible for all the wars in the world," but I know that you know that this was an overstatement. Let's call it an unfortunate byproduct of your .12 blood-alcohol level. Besides, check out this link. We've done lots of good things, too. And even the most strident anti-Semitics want a good Semite when facing serious legal (or medical) trouble.
First, the bad news. There is no doubt that your threats to harm Oksana can be charged as felonies under California law. Penal Code section 422 (often referred to as "terrorist threats" or "criminal threats" by those of us in the business) provides:
Any person who willfully threatens to commit a crime which will result in death or great bodily injury to another person, with the specific intent that the statement, made verbally, in writing, or by means of an electronic communication device, is to be taken as a threat, even if there is no intent of actually carrying it out, which, on its face and under the circumstances in which it is made, is so unequivocal, unconditional, immediate, and specific as to convey to the person threatened, a gravity of purpose and an immediate prospect of execution of the threat, and thereby causes that person reasonably to be in sustained fear for his or her own safety or for his or her immediate family's safety, shall be punished by imprisonment in the county jail not to exceed one year, or by imprisonment in the state prison.
Unfortunately for you, this is one of the most overcharged laws in California (or at least in Orange County), and I've seen far less egregious threats filed, including by yours truly when I was a prosecutor.
The good news? We'll have defenses. We could argue that you lacked the specific intent to be taken seriously and/or that Oksana wasn't truly in sustained fear. We'll call it the hothead defense. We show that everyone (Oksana in particular) knows that you're a bit whacky, and that you didn't really mean for her to think that you would actually kill her. But realize that the prosecution will likely be able to counter this by establishing Oksana's knowledge of every violent thing you've ever done, in order to show that you meant it, and that Oksana was genuinely scared. It is a defense frought with peril. No criminal defense attorney enjoys arguing: "You must acquit my client because I've proved to you that he's a total asshole!"
Another possible means of avoiding conviction is more technical. Penal Code section 631 makes it a felony to record telephone conversations unless both parties authorize it. I presume, of course, that you did not. Significantly, subdivision (c) of the statute also makes such recordings generally inadmissible:
Except as proof in an action or prosecution for violation of this section [i.e., illegal taping], no evidence obtained in violation of this section shall be admissible in ay judicial, administrative, legislative, or other proceeding.
There are two problems with this route, however. First, there is an exception (Penal Code section 633.5) that allows one party to a conversation to secretly tape calls that "relate to the commission by [the other party] . . . of . . . any felony involving violence against the person[.]" Arguably, a mere threat to commit violence does not involve violence. But that won't be an easy sell.
The other problem with this defense is that there is some unsettled law in this area. The DA will have a good argument that Penal Code section 631 is bad law. In Bunnell v. Motion Picture Ass'n of America (C.D.Cal. 2007) 567 F.Supp.2d 1148, a federal district court ruled that the statute was preempted by the federal Electronic Communications Privacy Act (ECPA). The decision isn't technically binding on California judges, but there is a fair chance a judge would follow it. We will argue that the statute is not preempted by federal law, and we do have good law our side. In particular, we'll rely on People v. Stevens (1995) 34 Cal.App.4th 56, which held that the ECPA does not preempt California law. But there is no guarantee that a judge would apply the Stevens holding to the specific issue in your case.
I think the best approach might be for you to exercise the "jurisdictional option." Get the hell out of Dodge. Flee to Switzerland, or some other country that isn't fond of extradition. Roman Polanski is getting long in the tooth, and he might give you free rent in exchange for serving as his girl bait. You might even work on a movie together to maintain your skill set.
Call me.
Best regards,
Brian Gurwitz